Your Next Vacation Will Probably Suck

You should probably expect for your vacation to be at least a little trash and here’s why…

I recently traveled to the Dominican Republic and, while it was a great time, I ran into some bumps.

Most were minor, of course: a smeared black stain on a skirt that I wanted to wear to dinner, my hair not drying in a decent amount of time, leaving me with frizzy, dandelion hair, and the like. Nothing too major.

And then I got on a boat.


I haven’t been on a boat since high school. As a person that has an irrational fear (and vivid nightmares) of open water, I usually steer clear of going out into the middle of the ocean. But there were promises of a secluded island and endless food; all I had to do was take a short boat ride to get to the destination. It’s going to be nothing. Right?

You Already Know It Wasn’t “Nothing”

OK, so the boat ride to the island was pleasant. The steady rhythm of the waves actually seemed peaceful as our boat bobbed against the open water. I rather enjoyed it. And then, a few yards away from the shore, we stopped. Unsure of the situation, I looked around to see what everyone else was doing. Nobody else seemed confused so, you know, it probably was just me. It’s always just me.

I knew there were plans of snorkeling, however, I assumed that the snorkeling would take place closer to the shore; where my feet could touch the ground. I’ve been snorkeling before in Hawaii and my feet were so close to the ocean floor that my knees were scratched up by the end of it. However, our tour guides began to frantically hand out flippers. It became apparent what was happening; I was about to die.

Without letting my traveling partner know of my fear, I threw on my oversized flippers and goggles. My breathing passage immediately became obstructed. I sucked in the little air that I could. “This’ll be easy,” I calmed down my friend while my heart pounded unpleasantly, “Just relax.” Meanwhile, my legs were about to buckle as I glanced out at the open water. A small girl no older than seven and with no sense of fear jumped out into the water in front of me. I followed behind her, silently cussing a small child out for making it look so easy.

One of the guides held out his arm, “Grab it.” He instructed. I knew his scrawny arm would not hold this body but I grabbed it anyways and plunged into the water. Instantly, I was engulfed by nothing but water. My life vest shot up over my head. The goggles filled up to the point where I could see nothing. NOPE! I had NOT planned on dying that afternoon!

I grabbed the boat and, in my panic, forced myself to swing underneath it and push my head underwater a second time. My once panicked friend effortlessly splashed into the water after me as I frantically pulled myself back onto the boat. Mmm.

Long story short, after pulling my flippers off, I stood on the boat and silently watched as everybody else splashed around in the water. I knew I was going back in. I had never done this before and who knew if I would ever do it again? Except, this time I made sure to get back in on my terms. I kept the dumb flippers off and, instead of diving into the water face-first like I did last time, I used to stairs to slowly walk myself into the water.

Once in, I still panicked at the fact that I couldn’t feel anything underneath my feet but took deep breaths and splashed around a little, attempting to get used to the unfamiliarity of being in the open ocean. One of the guides swam over to me and pointed to my goggles. “5 seconds, ok?” he said. I got it. I put the goggles on and then waited for him to count to five. I then submurged my head into the water and felt immediate satisfaction as the fluorescent colored fish swam in between our bodies.

Despite my fear, going back in was so worth it.

Soon after, we all filed onto the boat and completed the journey to the island. We relaxed in the warm water, ate fried fish, and baked in the Caribbean sun. At 2:00PM, it was time to depart. Our group once again boarded the boat to return to the van that would take us back to our resort. Ominous clouds formed in the sky just behind us, and then, it began to rain. And the boat began to rock.

And I got sea sick.

So yeah, a few aspects of my trip were sucky. However, that daywas probably my favorite of the entire trip.

Let’s face it…

Expecting the perfect vacation is completely unrealistic.

Things are going to happen. If you’ve had a perfect vacation where literally everything went right, please let me know in the comments below. Because I definitely have not. But instead of letting these little mishapsdefine my vacation, I put them in the “Learning Experiences” category and let them go; only recreating the scene to laugh about it later.IMG_2553 2

Expecting a perfect vacation will ruin your entire trip. Just because you’re out of town doesn’t mean life stops happening around you. Something – even if it’s just minor – is going to go wrong. Life is never a linear experience; it’s eitheron an upward or downward slope and constantly shifting. And that is just fine. If you learn from the mishap, and learn to let it go, it’ll make the rest of the vacation that much better.

Have you ever had any hilarious vacation mishaps? Let me know…


BBC #4 (Week Three)

No loss or gain this week. Still a disappointment.

Week Three Wrap-Up:

I didn’t really make any changes, which is detrimental to my success.

I continue to eat too much and exercise at a limit that’s well under my full potential.

An episode of My 600lb Life that I watched made me tear up from empathy. The subject of that episode discussed how his addiction with food proved to be harder to break than his addiction to hard drugs. I half-agree – given that I’ve never done hard drugs – but I’ve always had an emotional connection with sweets. Sweets have always been my downfall because I associate sweets with self-care.

I’ll mosey into the bakery section at a grocery store and gaze at the assortment of multi-colored, sugary death traps and tell myself, “I deserve to have a treat”. And then I’ll do that every day, masking my true emotional issues with the false sensation of “self-care”. And then I gain 25 pounds.

What I Did Right

It’s really important to focus on the good things we do, no matter how small. Positivity attracts more positivity. I did force myself to workout three times last week and I made myself cook dinner twice.

What I Did Wrong

Indulged on all the sugar and bread my little heart desired. I ate mindlessly and I created excuses on why I didn’t have to go to the gym between Thursday-Sunday. I exceeded my calorie goals on most days.


1. Follow the meal plan that my nutritionist gave me:

2. Allow myself ONE (1) sweet treat

3. Workout five (5) times this week. No excuses.

4. Practice mindful eating and self confidence. I’m going to achieve my goals by any means.

Current weight: 237 (no loss or gain)

My ultimate goal is to be at 227 by Christmas. It’s a stretch but I know I can do it.

Law of Attraction: Using Your Mind to Get Whatever You Want

We’re (briefly) diving into the law of attraction, y’all.


To provide a rather brief understanding of the law of attraction and how to manifest whatever you want into your actual ass life.

Now, WTF Is It?

You may have never heard of the “law of attraction”. Or you may have spent late nights engrossing yourself in The Secret and watching YouTube videos where wide-eyed, audibly emphatic people describe how the law of attraction has “completely changed their lives”.

For those who want a more in depth understanding, you can visit this site or read The Secret by Rose Byrne. However, the law of attraction is basically a concept that states that your thoughts become real life and physically manifest into your actual being.

A completely fictional example…

Janet hates her job. She wastes her day away filing papers and destroying the alignment in her spine with slouching at her desk for over eight hours a day. Every weekday morning – after her alarm shocks her out of a restless sleep – she drags herself out of bed, contemplates calling in sick because of another bout with “diarrhea” (because literally nobody asks questions about diarrhea), and visualizes her perfect job.

You see, Janet has always wanted to be a model. She pictures herself poised on stage, heels to the ceiling, posing for photos in front of flashing lights of a world renowned photographer. She writes out her dreams daily. In her mind, she’s already a famous model: she can feel the air in the room of the shoot, the excitement powering through her body like electric shock, the vibrating whirr of the camera allowing her to create the real-ness of it all. There’s no doubt in her mind that she won’t be a model. Hell, Janet already feels like a model.

One morning, while dragging her tired body into her favorite coffee shop, Janet is stopped by a random man. He’s been looking for someone that has her look and wants her to model for his magazine; which is rapidly growing in popularity. Janet is now officially a model and her thoughts/visualization allowed her to achieve this dream.

Sounds like bullshxt, right?

That it may. And I get it. If all it took was for me to picture myself as a rich ass housewife to a retired professional basketball player, why am I not sprawled out on a yacht in the Carribean right now?! From my understanding, the law of attraction is more so about being specific with your visualizations, putting in the work to make them happen, and actually believing that they’ll physically manifest into your life without doubt. It’s not enough to see yourself as the future Al Sharpton (massive head and all), you have to visualize yourself in his life and actually fully believe that it’ll happen. I know…

Do I Really Believe This Shxt?

I do, but with limits. In The Secret, the author claims that the law of attraction is so powerful that if you visualize your child dying or someone holding a gun to your head then you brought that onto yourself. I refuse to accept that analogy; nobody brings events that detrimental onto themselves. But there have been times that the law of attraction has worked for me and I’ll explain those in a later post because this has gone on fah too long, dahling!

Disclaimer: This is a very brief and very generalized view of the law of attraction. I may delve more into the subject later, I may not. I’m still learning it myself. I started out by reading The Secret, which is truly a bit clunky and extreme, but a decent starting point.


Remaining Body Positive AFTER Traveling

That body always looks good!

Look. I goes in on vacation.

I eat all the foods I want. I’m not a drinker but I’ll even allow myself a sip of something cute for the occasion. I squeeze my body into a two piece and flaunt on the beach like nobody’s watching because… well…

They’re not.

Nobody knows me in another country. Nobody’s stopping to say “hey, that girl doesn’t have a traditionally beautiful body she sucks.” And if they do, they’re weird. An important rule to remember: everybody’s body is acceptable on vacation.

I like to pack away my insecurities while traveling. While I tug on my clothes at home and constantly shove my already large shirt over my stomach, my tummy is almost fully exposed on vacation. I don’t care if people judge me; they’ll probably never see this face again.

I have a hard time recreating that nonchalance at Home. I’ve struggled with my weight for most of my life and I automatically assume that people are disgusted by the FUPA protruding through my jeans when they see it. But this isn’t high school anymore. I saunter through the downtown streets of where I live. Faces of sepia, caramel, mocha, white, and otherwise shuffle past me as I maneuver my way through the sea of nondescript faces. None of those people know who I am. And even it they do judge me; they won’t remember me in a few minutes.

So, what is the purpose of not maintaining that vacation confidence at home? What – or who – am I really getting down on myself for? Is it my own personal insecurities? Is it theirs?

Why can I be completely OK with my body when I’m surrounded by unfamiliarity but totally insecure when I’m home?

Just something to think about..

It Ain’t Easy Being Me

I know what you’re thinking: who the hell are you? Don’t worry, it’s not what you think.

I’m a YouTube tutorial junkie.

I literally have to force myself to stop watching YouTube tutorials after work so I can shower. As soon as I finish agonizing through the disrespectfully thick traffic home, I immediately huff upstairs to my room, throw my backpack on the floor, flop down, and pull up a tutorial of some sort. Be it travel tips, natural hair care, cute styles, fashion, and the like: I’m always looking for someone to tell me how to function through life.

I’m not here to bash anyone who does tutorials. They’re usually meant to be helpful; not the end all and be all. Plus, I offer my own suggestions on this very blog. But I can say that over the last six years, I’ve implemented about 700,000 hair regimens, suffered through vegetarianism (no shade), starved myself with intermittent fasting, packed every travel bag military style, and embarked on a minimalism lifestyle because YouTube “told me to”. At this point, I am EXHAUSTED. My frayed, frizzy ends are proof! When does it become OK to stop following tutorials and start figuring out what works for me? I’ve spent so much time copying these regimens to achieve the results of others, that I’ve completely failed myself.

This journey, these results, are mine and mine only. The natural hair gurus and weight loss experts can provide suggestions (some really awesome) but figuring out what best works for your own body and spirit is of most importance to your overall success.

You know that girl with the bomb ass twist out who only used water and oxygen to get that voluminous style that frames her head like a glowing, luminescent halo? That water and oxygen miracle may not be in your forecast and there’s nothing wrong with that. Spend some time silencing the experts and listening to you.

*Sorry for the “I” issue. Apple done effed up…

The Joys of Travel Anxiety

Spoiler alert: there are none…

When the thought crossed my mind that I could possibly become possessed while on vacation, I knew my anxiety had reached a ridiculous level.

I love to travel. In March of this year, I embarked on my first international trip and completed an almost two week vacay to Amsterdam, Cape Town, and Johannesburg/Limpopo Province.

And, while the trip was magnificent, the weeks leading up to it were the most stressful of my life.

The fear of what could possibly happen engulfed my entire being. I sat upright in my bed most nights and drafted near impossible disaster scenarios of what was to come:

  • Our plane would be shot down. We were traveling to Turkey to get on our connecting flights. The political climate is tricky; anything could happen.
  • Our plane would literally explode in the air.
  • We would get kidnapped on our way there. There are only two of us. Someone could definitely take us down and steal our organs.
  • As mentioned earlier, I could get possessed by a spirit in our Holiday Inn hotel.

Honestly, how many times do you hear about planes actually exploding in the air? It’s not that common and flying is apparently super safe. However, I realize that the anxiety will never go away.

It’ll always be there.

So, instead of trying to make myself get rid of it, I manage it.

I think of all the beauty I’m about to experience. Whether I’ve been there or not, I know I’m going to enjoy myself

I meditate. I journal. I write out all of my fears in regards to traveling and counter those fears with something positive.

I’m an organization freak so I make lists and check, check, double check them for accuracy.

I’m just a naturally anxious person. That’s who I am. I’m going to always have this anxiety but I won’t let it keep me from traveling. The spirit of traveling, the freedom I feel while in another location, is more important than my consistent worry. I’m happy to have all of this opportunity so why not take advantage?

Why not take advantage of the opportunities you do have?

And, if I do come back possessed by a spirit, I’ll probably be able to do some cool magic shit. That’s something, right?

BBC #2 (Week One)

So…. Yeah.

This week started out strongly but eventually morphed into a wastebasket filled to the brim with failure.

I started out the week eating healthily. Meal prepping on Mondays saves me a lot of time, money, and energy. I exercised Monday and Wednesday and used Tuesday as a day to catch up on much needed sleep.

Then it happened…

On Thursday, I ventured down to the little convenience store in my office building. No bigger than a walk-in closet, the store provides plenty of items like bottled water, pop (not soda), popcorn, sugary sweets, chips, deli sandwiches, hummus, and the like. I averted my eyes from temptation; pivoting to stare toward the healthy snacks nearest the entryway. But the small wooden rack packed with plastic covered, machine manufactured food items in the back of the store called out to me. I struggled, lifted up one leg to pull myself toward the items I needed to fulfill my body. But I gave in. The culprit:

A “Greek Yogurt”Double Chocolate Chip Muffin

I put the Greek Yogurt in quotes because that’s typically only added to make the item seem healthier. It isn’t. Don’t fall for it. It’s still a packaged muffin pumped with preservatives, sugars, simple carbs, and 580 calories. There’s nothing nutritious about a packaged muffin. Nothing, I tell you.

So, yeah. I gave that muffin what it was asking for and felt like shit immediately after eating it. I tried to make myself feel better about it by convincing myself that I was taking my sweet time with it instead of shoving it into my mouth like I always do. I didn’t feel better, though…

After that moment, I had officially barrel-rolled off the wagon.

By Friday, I had already quit my workouts, ate a piece of cake that some a*clown brought in, and began overeating every meal. On Saturday night, I inhaled a batch of mozzarella sticks and a whole small pizza in one sitting before going out to a Halloween party (where, in fact, I saw my ex).

But with that being said, I know I can do this. I’ve lost the weight before; I can do it again.

Consistency is so important at this point of my journey.

Measurable goals could be what I need to implement to get me going.

I need to:

  1. Be consistent. No overeating. Eat slowly.
  2. Workout at least four times/week (even on vacation)
  3. Don’t allow this week’s vacation to throw you off balance. You’re stronger than temptation no matter the setting.
  4. Lose 1.5 pounds this week

End of Week One Weight: 239 lbs (3 pound gain)

Week Two Goal: 237.5 lbs